Showing up when you’re barely holding it together

How to write, work, or just exist when life is life-ing

Photo by Ferenc Horvath on Unsplash

You know those days when life is just life-ing? When brushing your teeth feels like a major win?

In those moments, the last thing any of us need is advice that assumes we’re operating at full capacity. This is not the time for perfectly color-coded routines or 5am journaling sessions with lemon water. (Unless that does work for you, in which case, carry on.)

Most of us just need strategies that meet us in the chaos.

So here are a few of my favorite lifelines. They’re simple. They’re doable. And they’ll help you keep showing up, especially when your motivation has ghosted and your to-do list reads like a dramatic novella.

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1. The 5-Minute Fake Out

Tell yourself you only have to do it for five minutes. That’s it. Five minutes of working on your book, your script, your project, your whatever. Just open the doc. Start the thing.

Most of the time, you’ll keep going. But if you don’t? You still showed up. That still counts.

I use this trick all the time, especially for the tasks I’m dreading or feel “too big.” Five minutes feels manageable. It’s just long enough to feel like progress, and short enough to sneak past your inner resistance.

2. Rename Your Goal Something Ridiculous

Giving your task a silly or dramatic name lowers the stakes and makes the whole thing more fun. It turns the “ugh” into something that feels lighter and more playful, which is half the battle when your brain is in meltdown mode.

For example,

Instead of “Write social copy,” go with Type Tiny Word Spells for the Internet.

Instead of “Incorporate edits from beta readers,” maybe it’s Tame the Feedback Beast.

Instead of “Write sales page,” try Sling Words That Sell My Magic.

3. Micro-Rewards for Micro-Actions

If I spend an hour editing a chapter? I get to send my friends a Voxer rant about my very important Severance theories.

If I finish a client project? I take the dogs to the park or curl up for another espresso.

You can use anything as a reward:

• A voice note with a friend

• A coffee break

• A little scroll through Substack

• A lap around the block

• Ten minutes of reading that novel you love

Tiny actions, tiny treats. It sounds silly, but it’s surprisingly effective. Brains love rewards.

4. Create a Chaos-Friendly Ritual

I love my red, softcover Moleskine journal. I write out the perfect weekly plan every Monday like it’s a sacred ritual, and without fail, life comes crashing in with a reminder that it doesn’t care about my little notes.

Yesterday? I spent two hours on the phone with Apple Support. Two. Hours.

So, I have a “sh*tstorm edition” of my routine.

Instead of a full workout: a one mile walk and a primal scream.

Instead of writing a whole page: one solid paragraph.

Instead of posting on social media three times: post once.

You get the idea. It’s the scaled-down, just-enough-to-count version—and it still counts.

5. Swap Productivity for Presence

Showing up matters. Even if it’s just cracking open the Google Doc, skimming the outline, or staring blankly at a blinking cursor—you showed up. That’s a win.

The other day, I had a goal to edit 5,000 words of a manuscript. I made it through one chapter. Just one. But I showed up. And that’s the point.

6. Make a “Done is Better Than Dead” List

Whenever I feel behind, like really behind, I start tracking tiny wins like breadcrumbs.

• Sent the email

• Did two squats

• Didn’t throw my laptop into traffic

Proof of life. And proof that I’m still in the game.

7. Embrace “Delightfully Average”

I like to think of myself as delightfully average with a high tolerance for persistence. That combo is weirdly powerful.

I’m not the best writer, the best creator, or even the best espresso drinker (debatable). But I keep going. I strive for “better,” not “best.” And that’s enough to move mountains, eventually.

8. Do It With a Friend

Sometimes the trick to showing up during tough times is having someone show up with you. My friend Shenee and I do “10k Days,” where we each aim to write 10,000 words. They don’t have to be good. They just have to exist.

We check in throughout the day on Voxer, talk through our creative blocks, celebrate word counts and wins, and turn a solo writing day into something that feels like a team sport.

Mini-goals + good friends = momentum.

9. Create a Post-Crisis Checklist

Coming back after a hard life moment sometimes feels… impossible. That’s why I have a tiny “restart” checklist to ease me back in:

• Take a shower

• Eat a snack

• Open my laptop

That’s it. Other times, I’ll bring a project to a coffee shop and reread it with fresh eyes. Big leaps feel impossible in those moments, but small steps are always doable.

10. Use the “Dread + Done” Hack

You know that one task you keep avoiding because it feels like it came straight from the underworld? Yeah, same.

For me, it’s usually tech stuff. (See: two-hour Apple Support call.)

I’ve learned to do the dreaded thing first, because otherwise it squats in my brain rent-free, draining my energy and taking everything else down with it. Tackling it early = freedom.

11. Give Yourself a Fake Deadline

Screenwriting and client work come with real deadlines. But my novels? I publish my own so that’s all me.

And left to my own devices, I’m a very chill boss.

So I set fake deadlines with real-ish consequences. “Finish this by Friday or no sushi for you” works surprisingly well. I don’t always hit my faux deadlines, but they give me direction, and that’s what keeps me moving.

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One last thing…

Pursuing your goals isn’t always candles and mood boards. Some days, it’s crying into a spreadsheet or wondering if you should just give up and start a sourdough empire.

But you don’t have to go full beast mode to stay on track. These are the gentle strategies I return to when life gets wild. They’ve helped me keep writing and keep dreaming.

Try one. Or try them all. You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to keep going, one gloriously average, wildly persistent step at a time.

xo.
Melissa

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Obsessed is brought to you by Melissa Cassera, a Publicity Strategist, Professional Screenwriter, and Personal Brand Ghostwriter on a mission to help others create audiences who are, well, obsessed. See what it’s like to collaborate with Melissa here.

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